Abundant Grace

I've wondered if people get away with lying repeatedly about others. It seems like day after day goes by, and gossip continues. So, today the Lord told me, "Frequent Liar Miles."

I thought, "What?" Frequent Liar Miles - He sees it all! God knows the unkind, unjust words that have been spoken against you in hatred. Some people do things in the spirit of pride and arrogance, and don't even realize the chaos it creates, and the pain.

So, as I prayed last night, God will straighten out the crooked places. He cares for each one of His children. The inaccuracies and unfair treatment, He saw and He sees.

The other night, I was crying because my ex-husband has treated me so horribly. I left him because of unkind treatment. To be blunt, I was also scared of him because of his talk of killing people. I was also scared of his talk of thinking it's okay to be with minors when you are an adult.

He had been engaged to a fifteen-year-old when he was twenty-two. Two weeks after we were married, I found a stack of letters on the dresser all from a Jessica. I asked him what they were and he said they were kept as "evidence" that he didn't rape this other fifteen-year-old.

So, I asked him what he DID do. The response showed me that he should have been in jail years ago.

Somehow, God protected me through the marriage. However, he told me in front of people, "If people commit adultery, I'd feel justified killing both of them Scripturally."

I was faithful to my husband until after separation. Even then, I left him, but was not even thinking about a man.

I went into a women's shelter to hide from him with my baby. He was staying in my pre-marital home, and wouldn't leave it. He told me I could take the bus everywhere in the winter with our nursing baby.

My ex-husband started calling people to tell them that I was schizophrenic and bi-polar. He went around accusing me of being unstable, and crazy. So, I gave the courts a note from my counselor that said I had a mild form of depression and some Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

The mind games continued. My ex-husband said, "Do you want me to pray God's judgment on you for leaving me? You won't like it." And, "I could make your life a living hell."

He said, "You are committing adultery just by leaving me." "If you ever get remarried you'll be committing adultery." So, I am concerned that he wants to kill me.

There's more... However, God has kept me safe this far, and I'm doing my best to make the right choices for me and my baby. God's strength will get me through everything.

A couple months later, a man entered my life who was kind to me. I had known him previously as an acquaintance. I needed help with some materials things, like a car, because I had a daughter to provide for.

He helped me, and I ended up falling in love. It seemed that God had brought my "hero".

However, I was in a vulnerable state, and definitely had many things thrown at me from my ex husband. So, long story short, I made a commitment to this man who told me God had told him I was to be his wife.

It was deception, and I eventually broke off this relationship. I learned that God is so gracious and abundantly forgiving. There are no feelings attached now, and I have moved on toward Christ.

The other night, I was very discouraged and hurting. I felt the Holy Spirit say to me, "I Am your husband, and I love you."

No man I dated ever held the key to my heart. He only got just so far, and seemed like he never knew me. I believe this is because I gave the key of my heart to God, to give to that man.

That man He has for me won't ever give up. He will want to know me, and I will definitely want him.

So, it's all a journey, and sometimes it's hard. God, however, gives the comfort, the abundant grace, to raise a child, and deal with an abusive ex husband. He lies about me, but God sees the frequent liar miles stacking up.